Carpool Convos: Gender and Education

In the last year, I have carpooled with a male co-worker whose candid conversations have given me interesting insights into some males' perspectives regarding relationships, among other things. This is because my co-worker fancies himself skilled in sociology--without formal training. So you can only imagine that whenever I express doubt in what he terms "schooling me," about life and people, his usual response is, "I know people." I must admit from observation and conversation, his conclusions are often on point.

His theories and opinions about the world and people scan a variety of topics. Three that seem to have always lead to lectures during our commute include the societal emasculation of men, the loss of community, and the failures of education in the U.S.. Here is a list of some of his thoughts:

• Gender roles (masculine and feminine) matter. Societal problems that exist today are the result of the blurring of the lines of what men and women can and should do.
• Society is minimizing the role and importance of men in society to the point of emasculating young boys today.
• The concept of the "independent woman" results in men not being made accountable for their poor behavior. As a result, young boys take no responsibility and accountability for their actions. Hence, they develop a victim mindset when things go wrong.
• U.S. education is failing students because U.S. education doesn't develop independent, curious, engaged learners but rather passive robots. Students today don't really ask meaningful questions.
• U.S. school systems are failing boys and non-traditional learners because they are relying on antiquated systems that no longer appeal to or are appropriate for the modern learner. Schools need to adapt to the learners they have in front of them rather than force these learners to adapt to their methods.
• U.S. schools in the elementary grades are providing kids with too many options rather than on developing reading, writing, and arithmetic skills. Focus on those three subject areas in the early grades, and students will be able to access everything else. 
• Learners have to engage with the world to learn. They can't just be expected to sit behind a desk or to just read to learn. They have to be made to engage with nature. That builds true understanding and curiosity about the world.

I bring these up because these conversations about gender and education arose out of me venting in some way, shape, or form about the school environment and behaviors (of students, parents, administrators, district leaders, and colleagues) that got in the way of me feeling and being successful in the classroom. While I mostly agreed (and agree) with his sentiments regarding education, I've rolled my eyes quite a few times when he talked about gender issues, mainly because I believe some of his ideas perpetuate an antiquated patriarchal mindset. I mean, what generally modern woman wouldn't scoff at being told that her lack of cooking will get in the way of her ever getting married? Or that a woman's role is really to subjugate herself to the man's role, and in that, she has the greatest power? I took most of his ideas regarding gender with a grain of salt.

To my surprise, my co-worker wasn't all wrong. Dr. Leonard Sax's Boys Adrift: The Five Factors Driving the Epidemic and Unmotivated Boys and Underachieving Men (2009) present many scientific theories and research that align with my co-worker's theories about gender and education.

I guess I should give my co-worker more credit about his sociological awareness than I care to admit. To not add to his already inflated male ego, I've not told him about how many of his ideas are supported by the information in this book. Even if I were to tell him though, he would laugh and tell me he already knows he's right.